Ash Chandler Show

Before "Don 2" my wife and I sneaked into the much-revered show of Ash Chandler - standup comedian and occasional singer at ITC Grand's Black Dog evening. What a show! Ash Chandler is outstanding with his lines and singing. We were proccupied with showing up at SRK's premiere and hence I missed making shorthand notes but Ash Chandler is quite a find for us with his unadulterated and rambunctious act of 90 minutes of laughter. He started the show with an attire of a Spanish singer and started giving yarns about men, marriage, women and comedy that talks below the belt. Yes, strictly for adults but Ash carried with class and consummate ease. The gags were well-rehearsed and the targets in the audience who bore the brunt of his repartees were polished off well. A few gags I remembered: 1.He asked how many in the audience were married - only nine hands went up and one of them- a lady raised both hands. Ash said: "I can tell you most of you in the room are fucking lying or you are embarrassed to admit you are married. And the lady who raised both hands - what the hell do you have in mind - madam? Do you have two husbands or what?". 2. He starts the show with a request to the audience to ask him anything in Telugu and he will reply in Telugu even though he didn't pick up the language but you have to tell the object around the stage in Telugu. So, somebody in the audience said - microphone. Ash said: microphone lu (as in plural sense of Telugu). Speaker lu, chair lu and so on. Get it? 3. He polled the audience where they come from - some said Bglor, Kolkatta, Delhi, Mumbai - He picks up Kolkattans and repeats the old joke about Chatterjees, Mukherjees, Banerjees - and said if there's a flood in Bangladesh, they will be "Refugees". 4. He adds that women are the most beautiful part and the creative part of the world and God has created them with reason and care. He then quips that there is nothing called male intuition. Everything thats intuitive is called female intuition. Which is why, when you are driving down in a car with your wife, and you are suddenly lost in thoughts, he says, only your wife can come up with a question: "I know what you are thinking." (lol). The wife seems to have a perfect premonition as to what is happening with you - and second-guessing your motives. He builds it up: If you have trouble deciphering what the lady says and asks of you - oftentimes, you will end up confessing something you never wanted to or did in the first place. (l.o.loudest). He then adds that the ladies want someone who can just listen and not understand. Which is why, if two males think about meeting - at 7.30pm- it is a short message - we will meet at 7 pm and click ok thats about it. But when you meet a lady- its more exciting - and doesn't end in half-hour. First, you have to listen to what the lady has to say about her day - how it went. How the day of her best friend went. And then her reaction to how the best friend has to say about her day went. Until then, you can drown your glasses without batting an eyelid and giving a scent of a feeling that you are not listening...you know those old jokes about women and listening, that kind..4. He has a joke or two about Hyderabad. At the outset, when he asked how many are from Hyderabad, and not many answered in the affirmative, he said, " Forget it, the guys are thinking, we are not sure whether we are from Hyderabad or not, because we are not sure which state it is the capital of? Once we know, we will let you know?". That kind. The show was non-stop funny and outrageously hilarious - there was the occasional song which the audience participated in - Ash also mimicked George Bush, Osama Bin Laden and how Stings would perform a Kolaveri Di. As a limited public speaker but an aspirational writer, I note that Ash Chandler (who has a galaxy of tabs in youtube on his video performances) knows his lines well, rehearses them painstakingly and connects with any audience superbly. Its been one starburst of an evening that we were privileged to get regaled. Both of us felt many highs even if Ash's favorite animal Black Dog was not consumed by us. Great Find and Great job! Ash.