Showing posts with label SMs. Show all posts
Showing posts with label SMs. Show all posts

July 15, 2013

Telegrams Fully Stopped Full Stop

Telegrams - while they lasted - must have meant some memories, good, bad and neutral for those who grew up without a mobile phone, a laptop and an IPad. So, when everybody is lamenting on the social media  that Telegrams will be shelved forever, I want to rewind some of my memories of Telegrams and share some of the most memorable telegrams in our lives.

Telegrams in those days were the most perfect means of communicating asyncronously - you will receive a telegram when you least expect one and you didn't have to be there to receive it - it will come when it is telegraphed in speed but you may have just stepped out or travelling but the receiver's address will collect it. I had filled out atleast two or three telegrams - it used to be like a Railway Reservation form and had clearly three components - Sender, Receiver and the Body of the text message usually filled out in boxes. Every character would take a box, including punctuation marks like a full top (.) and a hyphen (-). When I used to send telegrams at the instruction of my father for audit communications, I used to take a minimum of three to five iterations because I couldn't edit well and within the space and financial constraints. (My father used to give me only finite amount and the clerk at the post office warned me: "This will take one hundred and eight rupees, hai kya?")

In many ways, telegrams were similar to twitter messages- 140 characters were what it takes to deliver one tweet whether you use hashtag or tagline. Only difference is telegrams were never serialised like tweets nowadays - it was prohibitive to send out telegrams in quick succession like, say,"Baby boy born Full Stop Mother and baby safe." and again,"Gandam for father Full Stop don't come immediately."  Telegrams were inevitably followed up with costs for further communication via trunk calls and reciprocal telegrams. For my entire life, I remember telegrams only in CAPITAL LETTERS. In chatting forums, this sort of messaging is considered offensive and called as "Shouting". I still find many old-timers who "SHOUT" in their text messages. They tell me they are used to sending many telegrams in their life and hence the habit has caught on.

By nature, telegrams served immeasurable good to rural India and most of urbanites who didn't have a telephone connection until the 90s. They arrived with a sense of urgency, emphasis and unalloyed suspense. When the postman knocked on the door and said you received a telegram, he didn't reveal anything until he took the receiver's signature and then with a straight face pulled out the masterly message. If it was a happy message, he asked for  sweets or money. Never took money if the announcement was of grave consequences. Until even 2000, I used to see most Invitation Cards for weddings, etc. carry a code for GRAMs: XXXX which meant that if you wanted to send telegrams to the newly wed couple, you will save a few hundred rupees because the message would be that much shorter (to the extent of the recepient's address) and the venue is geared up to receive messages in absentia. There were also standard messages for telegrams like in Trunk Calls - so you had a number to refer to ready-made message for Telegram on congratulating, celebrating, getting married, births and deaths, successes and promotions, examinations etc. 

Majority of telegrams were used for breaking the bad news or when Trunk Calls were too costly or failed to connect with the intended recepient. But they used to co-exist and it felt good to send genuinely happy messages in bulk.  Equally imperative to send out the grave messages. Trunk Calls were quite different those days and I never enjoyed the presence of an eavesdropper from the Telephone Exchange who used to call twice, first time to connect us to the caller and the second time to remind us when to hang up, sometimes thrice to extend it. Most times, I was uncomfortable that some employee of BSNL was keenly listening to our conversation. Depending on the mood and tone of the communication, I could sense  the employee responded with a tone affirming as if she knew all about what we talked even if she used a simple "Ohkaay Saar!" or "Okay!"

What were some of the most memorable telegrams my family received? Very few I remember. One telegram  my father recalls came from the CA Institute (ICAI) saying,"Congratulations for passing CA Intermediate". It brought enormous joy to my father and my Baamma. In those days, the Institute used to send telegrams only to successful students who passed CA exam in first attempt. It discontinued the practice shortly. After that, he never received any telegram from the Institute even after he passed the Final examination and annexed about half a dozen degrees which look longer than his name. When I recollect those moments, I guess thats an incredible feeling for a student to get an emphatic word of confirmation from the horse's mouth - from the Professional Institutes. Gone are the telegram days for CA Results which migrated from telegrams to being published in the pink papers to being put up on the board of the local chapters (That used to be another kind of drama which was nail-biting; it used to be worse than being shepherded to the Kabath). 

After that, he was never at the receiving end of telegrams. Being a CA in practice meant audits galore. So, he sent out a telegram about the commencement and completion of audits whenever. This applied to bank audits, insurance audits and routine business matters. Because the outbound traffic increased tremendously, he ordered for concessional facility which came with a code for grams. It sounded something like RUBICON. So, I crossed the rubicon whenever he sent telegrams! Most messages were routine and boring: "Audit Commenced", or "Cash Verification done" and so on.  My father was on seventh heaven the day the communication came from the Post Office that his CA firm was awarded GRAMS. In those days, it was a status symbol and my father was as elated as one would get today on getting a 41 pixel camera smartphone.

I received less than five telegrams all my life. One of them was from the American Embassy. During my early career, I was referred by my mother's friend to apply for US Embassy position of an Economic Analyst. The position was based in Chennai and meant a simple analysis of all English and vernacular newspapers on a daily basis for the American intelligence. I found the job profile exciting; it meant more reading and more writing. The telegram communicated me the date of the interview and where I should attend. Its another story that after attending the interview, I was never selected as they thought I was too young. The second telegram I received was happier but the ball was in my court this time. I completed a round of written test and interview for TCS and I was informed via telegram "You are selected for the position of "Business Analyst" Full Stop Join on or before XX.XX.XX". It meant a lot at that time when I was already at cross-roads of journalism and banking. I chose banking instead of writing and this position at TCS would have taken me into a different direction. I still wonder, had I taken the TCS offer, as some of my friends have taken, I would have been counting both rupees and dollars in my account and crores worth of ESOPs! But never regretted my career decisions - I am happy then and I am happier now, more than ever. But those two telegrams changed my destiny in a way.

That is, to cut a long story short, a nostalgic trip down the telegram path. The curtains are down on the 163-year old telegram service; it happened to the hand-written letter, inland letter, trunk call, and so on. The news of  Abraham Lincoln's assassination took almost three weeks to reach the other side of the Atlantic. Telegrams filled a big void that even ships couldn't for a long time. Neither I nor my father ever stored even one telegram that made our moments memorable but I do store an equivalent of a telegram  today in my comfort zone. I favorite the tweets I like, I like the facebook posts and pages I like to reference back, and I copy the best sms messages on my mobile phone to the memory card. Telegrams are dead, long live happy telegraphic messages!

March 1, 2010

"Discover the Diamond in You" by Arindam Chaudhuri


Arindam Chaudhuri, one of those shameless self-promoters who forays into everything from politicking to Bollywood to B-School management apart from writing Alternative Budgets and Full Page Advertorials in all ABC certified newspapers (Who's financing them? Who's Reading them?), is out with a new book - Discover the Diamond in You (A pot-pourri of success literature in rapid text).But due to paucity of time, he says he composes the whole book on SMS.(We can make out). So, it reads very short and tweet-like and should be done away with in less than an hour, including Introduction by mind-alike Shah Rukh Khan. If you have never been exposed to any self-help book, and if your vocabulary is below 350 words, this book will suffice, I mean, do. Read it, if you, like me, are getting a foot pedicure and a shampooing of the hair simultaneously, and have some time to kill.

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